I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize