i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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