so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is the high leading the old right now
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
