Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
