I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
...so i touched it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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