omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
