I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
