Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
