And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
