I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize