rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
