Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
