is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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