6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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