My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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