mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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