Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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