Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
