brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
