i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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