too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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