Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
