My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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