At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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