The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
