I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
