I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
