There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
