just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
