Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
