please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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