Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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