the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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