This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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