My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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