Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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(205): View more from Alabama

That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".

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(515): View more from Iowa

Even my vagina gasped.

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(631): View more from New York

So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold

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