your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
