When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You are the jesus of drinking
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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