It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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