my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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