bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
