redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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