And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
