I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
