My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
