How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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