Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
