dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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