no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
