I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
