This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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