Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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