i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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