It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So vagazzling was a success
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
